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EXCERPT: To Guy, a pudgy, balding accountant at Popp & Grubb of Muskogee, it was a dream come true when the large wooden gates of the Renaissance Faire finally opened in the hot, dusty summer hills of Oklahoma.
For one hundred bucks American he rented a real mail shirt and leggings, a padded aketon to wear under the mail shirt, leather breeches, leather boots, surcoat, conical helmet with nose guard, sword and scabbard, and a heavy wooden leather covered shield.
All real, all heavy, and all too damned hot. But it was worth it to live his daydream of being a Medieval knight. It was a daydream fueled by a dull childhood of an overprotective mother and an even more lackluster life of a lonely adult. For a little while he was a knight shaping history, a knight rescuing grateful lusty princesses, a knight slaying fire-breathing dragons.
He was Sir Guy.
Sir Guy…The Accountant…
Through the humid summer day Sir Guy joined the laughing, preening royalty and looked down his nose at the commoners. He drank mugs of sharp ale and wine, chewed on thick strips of hot juicy steak, ogled seductive Gypsy dancers, and roared his enthusiastic approval during jousting tournaments. He snickered at the tourists in their loud print shirts, Bermuda shorts with knobby knees, and sneered at the cowboys with their cowboy hats, tight shirts and blue jeans.
Only the hot, summer dressed shapely young women found approval in his eyes. He flirted awkwardly with the costumed female staffers and flirted shamelessly with visiting female tourists regardless of their age. Any of the females would satisfy his urges, his loneliness.
When the humid coolness of the evening came and torches flickered to life throughout the Faire, he wandered up to the plywood castle trimmed with fake stonewalls and stared at it with a deepening sadness.
It was time to hand over the heavy “rent-a-knight” equipment. It was time to go home to his hot little apartment to prepare for a tournament field of a messy desk and jousting with his weapons of paper, pen and calculator. Just another day, another week, and another month.
He decided there was time for a last battle. He would rescue the beautiful lusty daughter of a grateful king or free a misty fairy princess…